Dear Troll on Periscope,
Hey, I wanted to talk to you after I had time to process things. You know, your comments hit me pretty hard. It’s already hard to be female in a public space, much less a fat one. Today I also happened to be an unshowered, fat chick. Man. I was really asking for it, wasn’t I? Except I wasn’t. See, here’s what you don’t know about me because you didn’t bother to learn it; my mission is for people to learn to love themselves. I get on Periscope five days a week because I want to help other people really like who they are. I want to be a fountain, not a drain.
Today, I failed. I reacted to you with anger instead of lovingkindess. I lashed out from pain instead of trying to find understanding for your behavior. That’s my bad, and I really hope you can forgive me. I’m guessing forgiveness is something you haven’t had a lot of in your life because when we try to hurt others it’s because we believe it will assuage our own pain. So, I’m sorry, dude. Truly.
I also wanted to talk about what you said, though, because I think it’s important to address these comments, too, for my friends who might’ve been watching and thinking, “This is why I can’t get on Periscope; I don’t want anyone talking to me like that.” Dude, my appearance is a thing. I get it. But there’s the thing about that – it shouldn’t be. I don’t owe you (or anyone) prettiness. Or even cleanliness. I don’t have to pay rent for my space on Earth by being visually appealing all the time…or even part of the time. I get to just exist; just like you get to just exist. We ALL get to just exist, man.
The only thing we owe each other is basic human decency which I failed to give you today, and again, I’m sorrier than I can say. I let you down. I let my friends down. I let MYSELF down. So I’ve unblocked you from my Periscope, and I really hope you come back because I’d like another chance to show you a better version of myself.
Wife to Bill.
Mother of Matt, Lenna, and Tricia.
Managing Editor of Audaciously Fat.
Mammalian servant to an avian despot, Courtney Lovebird.
Deliriously happy about all of it.