So, I’m gonna go on a bit of a rant today. It’s something I’ve noticed a LOT lately, and it just frustrates me endlessly. Since I’ve been posting challenges in my Facebook groups, I’ve noticed how damn negative people can be. For no real reason other than because they can.
Some folks seem to be operating under the belief I have a list of everyone I’ve asked to participate in these challenges and expect RSVPs*. That could not be further from the truth. If you want to do these challenges, that’s fine. That’s FUCKING AWESOME even. If not, that’s also fine. My ass is not aching, regardless of which way you choose to go here. I post these challenges to hold myself accountable. If I do them alone, I still get that benefit.I post these challenges to hold myself accountable. If I do them alone, I still get that benefit.Click To Tweet
That said when someone picks apart my challenges or tells me all the reasons why they can’t or tells me how my challenge is stupid and wrong and sucks, that shit does bother me. That shit does hurt my feelings. So maybe just scroll on by instead of presenting your TEDTalk on all the reasons this challenge is incredibly shitty and awful, huh?
This is not to say I don’t value opinions and input – after you’ve actually done the challenge. I’m always open to constructive ideas about how to make the challenge even better for everyone involved. Hell, I’m even okay with constructive criticism prior to the challenge provided it’s actually helpful. (My general rule of thumb in re: constructive criticism is “If there’s no solution, there’s no problem.”)
But even more than any of this is the idea your attitude is contagious. People feel like they have to give all these reasons why there’s just no possible way they can do the thing which, for me, is extremely frustrating because no one said you had to do this in the first place. So why offer an excuse? Especially when you say, “I can’t because XYZ” could easily lead someone else who was considering it to think, “Well, hey. I have XYZ reason, too!” and decide they’re not going to go for it after all. I’m not saying you’re responsible for anyone else’s actions; I’m saying it’s really easy to create a culture of failure before anything even gets started.
And this applies to so much more than just the challenges. I’ve seen people comment on friends’ posts, “OMG. EW. I would never eat/do/wear that!” I always want to answer, “Well, thanks for your opinion, Barbara; so bugger off and don’t eat/do/wear it then.” I guess what I’m saying is don’t piss on someone else’s parade, at least on their blog or in their group or on their wall. I mean, that’s what your blog/group/wall is for, amirite?
*I realize when I ask things like “You in?” it could seem like I’m asking for RSVPs. I’d have thought it was understood that was more rhetorical than literal, but I’ve noted it and won’t ask that way in future. 😉
Wife to Bill.
Mother of Matt, Lenna, and Tricia.
Managing Editor of Audaciously Fat.
Mammalian servant to an avian despot, Courtney Lovebird.
Deliriously happy about all of it.